Consent is Sexy

Three young couples pose together

“The Beast 666 ordains by His authority that every man, and every woman, and every intermediately-sexed individual, shall be absolutely free to interpret and communicate Self by means of any sexual practices soever, whether direct or indirect, rational or symbolic, physiologically, legally, ethically, or religiously approved or no, provided only that all parties to any act are fully aware of all implications and responsibilities thereof, and heartily agree thereto.” -Commentary to AL I:51

With the attention focused on movements like #MeToo and #RespectTheNoInOTO some seem to think that the sexual landscape has changed. For sex magicians working with partners, consent is particularly important to making a magical act a successful one. Does consent somehow take away the excitement and spontaneity of an encounter? Experts say it makes an erotic entanglement more so, not less.

Tumblr user Faux De Luxe says, “Looking into your partner’s eyes and asking ‘may I?’ in a voice breathy with desire before you kiss them is super hot.” The post continues, “If asking for consent ruins sex you’re what?  A rapist who sucks at talking dirty?”

Amanda Thomashow, the Michigan State University graduate who in 2014 reported sexual abuse by Larry Nassar to the university, says “I wish I had been taught these things as a kid. It would have saved me a lot of grief, honestly.” She’s advocating for a Michigan Senate bill to mandate lessons on affirmative consent, or “yes means yes” policy, in Michigan public schools.

Glamour explains ways to make consent sexy, too. “…use the opener put to someone I know, who still recounts it with flushed awe: ‘Show me what feels good.'”

You can even get flyers, posters, and more about consent from Consent Is Sexy. “Some see asking for consent as a ‘mood killer’. But the mood is definitely ruined if your partner feels pressured and unsafe. Asking for consent can be as hot, creative and sexy as you want to make it. Or as simple as asking, ‘Is this OK with you?’ Be sure your partner is into it. Ask first. Make it sexy. Sex with consent is sexy. Sex without consent is rape. Respect yourself. Respect your partner.”

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