“The Beast 666 ordains by His authority that every man, and every woman, and every intermediately-sexed individual, shall be absolutely free to interpret and communicate Self by means of any sexual practices soever, whether direct or indirect, rational or symbolic, physiologically, legally, ethically, or religiously approved or no, provided only that all parties to any act are fully aware of all implications and responsibilities thereof, and heartily agree thereto.” -Commentary to AL I:51
Writing for Refinery 29, Kasandra Brabaw notes, “People who don’t engage in BDSM may assume that consent isn’t a huge part of bondage and masochism.” She interviews Mistress Velvet, a dominatrix in Chicago, to learn how one can obtain consent in a sexy context.
“If I was having sex with someone for the first time, I wouldn’t want them to assume that I like to be choked,” Mistress Velvet says. “But there’s a way to ask when they’re pounding me and they’re like, ‘Do you like to be choked? And then I can be like, ‘Yes, choke me daddy.'” The same scenario works in the reverse if you want to offer consent. So, if you like to be choked, but aren’t sure that your partner will ask, then you can say, “Can you choke me?” during sex. Asking for what you want — whether it’s choking, oral, or a simple ass grab — won’t ruin the moment, it’ll make things even more steamy.
Want to learn more?
- How To Make Consent Sexy, According To A Dominatrix
- Previously in Zero Equals Two: Consent is Sexy
